Don’t be a girl, pass me the bottle
I’m getting turnt up tonight
Well of course I’m gassing full throttle
Anything less isn’t right
A few drinks in I’ll approach any man
You know I don’t have any fright
When I’m feeling fine I have no inhibition
Damn is it a sight

I never claimed to be pure, I’m nothing like ivory
If I had a label it’d say parental advisory

My idea of a blast was getting smashed
I was just trashing my life
I’d rip a bong and down a glass
I was just chasing a high
I’d wake up confused after self-inflicted abuse
And try to recall the night
I’d down some water and swear off the booze
But that’d only last a few nights

I never claimed to be pure, I’m nothing like ivory
If I had a label it’d say parental advisory

Pops called it rock bottom as an alcoholic
Mama couldn’t help but cry
But dad was wrong, I’d be arrested again
I sunk even lower the next time
The third time’s a charm
I’m lucky no one was harmed
I’m not sharing this for some sick glory
I’m saying it’s never too late to turn the tide
You write the chapters of your own story
You’re the author of your own life

I never claimed to be pure, I’m nothing like ivory
If I had a label it’d say parental advisory

Now I don’t need a blunt or a martini
You see I’ve been set free
Caffeine and nicotine are all that I need
I’m happy with ‘rillos and coffee

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